Suzi Light

be nice to each other

#lol

moonblossom:

kinpunshou:

so this morning i was playing with the slow-mo mode on my phone, hoping to get a majestic vid of a bumblebee taking off
but instead i found this dumbfuck

Oh my god its little flailing legs. I’m dying.

moonblossom:

kinpunshou:

so this morning i was playing with the slow-mo mode on my phone, hoping to get a majestic vid of a bumblebee taking off

but instead i found this dumbfuck

Oh my god its little flailing legs. I’m dying.

Anonymous asked: u take a lot of selfies. do u think ur pretty or smoething? ur not

fatmaninalittlesuit:

7mins-in-heaven-w-dean:

hi there, anon. i didn’t realize i took a lot of selfies. thanks for the info. so, your question was whether i think i’m pretty. you already answered that no, i am not. 

and i have to agree, anon. i don’t think i’m pretty bc i’m not.

i’m fat.

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i always have a double chin.

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i constantly look like i haven’t slept in a week bc of my dark circles

and, i always look sunburnt. idfk why

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i have this white line across my nose that makeup can’t cover up 

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i have tons of wrinkles on my forehead. like what the hell? i’m 25

also, it’s the size of fucking texas

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i still don’t know how to smile in pictures bc i hate my fucking teeth

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my feet are flat. my hips are huge. my boobs are weird. i am covered in stretch marks. my voice is grating. my ears stick out two miles from my head. i am always fucking sweating and i’ve been asked if i was pregnant more times than i can count. 

so, you’re right. i’m not pretty. i can’t stand the way i look.

which is why it’s so fucking important that i post “a lot” of selfies. bc, anon, you’d better fucking believe that if i look in the mirror that day and don’t cringe, i’m gonna take a fucking picture to save that tiny little second. and GOD FORBID i show the world that i posses a little self love every once in a fucking while. 

TO ANYONE READING THIS: DON’T EVER LET SOMEONE MAKE YOU FEEL ASHAMED FOR LIKING THE WAY YOU LOOK—EVEN IF IT’S JUST FOR A SECOND. IF YOU LOOK NICE, YOU TAKE THAT FUCKING SELFIE AND YOU SHOW IT TO THE GOD DAMN WORLD BC THEY DESERVE TO SEE THE GOD/GODDESS YOU ARE!

that beard finally coming in? go ahead, bro. take a selfie.

you finally got that piercing you’ve been wanting? not really my style, but you’re fucking rocking it. take a selfie.

your boobs look awesome in that shirt? take a selfie.

you finally lose or gain that weight you’ve been working on? take a selfie.

your eyeliner look awesome? your new sunglasses make you look like  a celebrity avoiding the paparazzi? you killing that tux? you feel a tiny, rare level of self love? you always on a high level of self love? you just like your face? 

TAKE A MOTHAFUCKING SELFIE!

thanks for the question, anon. this one’s for you.

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Wow!

Fabulous.  Someone give this girl a medal.. a trophy.. a tiara or tickets to a concert… something!   

Found this tonight on Craigslist… THE ELOPEMOBILE

Found this tonight on Craigslist… THE ELOPEMOBILE

Kama Sutra for Couples Who Have Been Dating for Over Three Years. »

sometimesagreatnotion:

Excerpt:

“The Standing Chef”

Make a move on your partner while she is in the kitchen making pasta. Press her against the stove, which she will remind you is on. Nod as she sighs and says that the kitchen has become “too predictable” and doesn’t have the same spontaneity as it used to. Remind her that you live in a 475-square-foot studio apartment and there’s literally nowhere new to go. Ask her to make enough pasta for you.



“The Streaming Marathon”

When the two of you are alone in bed, cuddle up and do nothing but watch Netflix. Start kissing his neck and moving your hand down further and further until he says that you should really be paying attention because Breaking Bad is a very complex show with a lot of subtleties and he’s not going to answer questions later on because you missed something. Watch Gus Fring subtly stab a man with a box cutter.

S.A.T. For Adults

indieuh:

"Andrew graduated from college twelve years ago, and Andrew’s rent is nine hundred and fifty dollars a month. Andrew’s barista job pays eight dollars an hour, and he works there twenty hours a week. Andrew’s assistant job pays fifteen dollars an hour, and he works there ten hours a week. Andrew is on page seventeen of his fifth screenplay. Andrew’s therapy costs two hundred and fifty dollars an hour, and recently Andrew’s therapist suggested meeting two times a week.

(A) Andrew should increase his assistant-job hours and decrease his barista job hours.
(B) Therapy is a luxury that Andrew cannot afford.
(C) This prompt did not contain a question.
(D) The universe is telling Andrew that he wasn’t meant to be a screen-writer, and Andrew is not listening.
(E) Andrew will be thirty-five in January. Thirty-five.”

-excerpt from S.A.T. For Adults, by Ethan Kuperberg, from the Sept. 23, 2013 issue of the New Yorker